Luc-Bat (six-eight)
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Luc-Bat is a Vietnamese form consisting of alternating lines of six and eight syllables; the end-rhymes of each pair of eight-syllable and six syllable lines are echoed by an internal rhyme in the next line, positioned at the sixth syllable; a new rhyme then begins at the eighth syllable.
Here's an example:
Prologue and Opening of Chapter One of
Kim-Van-Kieu (the Tale of Kieu)
Nguyen Du (1765-1820; tr. John Drury)
In life, a century's sum,
Talent and fate may come to blows.
You pass through ebbs and flows,
Sickened by what is going on.
Something gained, something gone,
Fair cheeks are set upon by spite.
Manuscripts by lamplight
And bamboo texts relate the Ming
Period of Kia-Tsing
When peace was prevailing among
The people. In the Vuong
Family there was a young man, last
Son of a clerk whose modest
But literary past he knew,
And daughters named Thuy-Kieu
And Thuy-Van, both slim, beautiful,
In their two ways equal.
Excerpted from The Poetry Dictionary by John Drury.
Here's something I found online I thought might help you better understand where your rhymes are supposed to go.
O.O.O.O.O.a.
O.O.O.O.O.a.O.b.
O.O.O.O.O.b.
O.O.O.O.O.b.O.c.
O.O.O.O.O.c.
O.O.O.O.O.c.O.d.
O.O.O.O.O.d.
O.O.O.O.O.d.O.e.
O.O.O.O.O.e.
O.O.O.O.O.e.O.f.
O.O.O.O.O.f.
O.O.O.O.O.f.O.etc.



7 Poefusions:
Thanks for this, Michelle! A new form to play with, just when I wasn't sure what to write today.
And the pattern helps greatly! The visual goes a long way. I'll be back after some writing. :)
Here's Mine-
"Wraith of War"
Okay, I did it, with my laptop resting on my legs and a my spiral next to me, back and forth between rhymezone, onelook dictionary, my free-write....
I ended up not including much of my free-write, but the gist of it is still there. I really like this form. i might try it with no rhyme, just to see where that would take me. Thanks again, Michelle.
How I Triumphed over Harlequin Death
I tried this new form. It creates interesting sound effects.
Watercolours
Gemma
here's my attempt:
ordinary day
Thought about being less blunt, but sometimes poetry's blunt because it captures a moment. Poetry's definitely about an author being true and not faking it, so for what it's worth, I hope you all accept this attempt, for I enjoy it, and it's rare that I fully enjoy one of my own...
Revealed.
It's strange writing to a set form, seeing what content comes at the form's dictating
thirteen lines
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